Jelly Beans

La…..lala….dudu….meme…..(what has our writer have in store for us today, Now he thinks.)

Oh okay reader today shall be the day that I speak of the greatest most evil snack of them all,  the Jelly bean. Why is it the greatest? Easy, cuz jelly beans are the only candy that are purposely flavored a bagillion amounts of flavors. Here let’s ask mr. Snufleluflecus

Writer: So Mr. snufleluflecus, Do you like the jelly bean? and also do you think it is the greatest snack in the world?

Snuffle: To be quite honest I think that all other snacks are perfunterous when comparing them to the glorious jelly bean. why, the other day I was eating a popcorn flavored one. Quite the delicacy, I might add. Plus. the jelly bean is very portable and can be stored in the pocket without losing any of its magic. My favorite thing to do is stuff two in my nose and shoot them out as I pretend to be a weapon of some sort.  Think about it, if you manage to get on my bad side, I’ll wait till both of us are having a cup of cofee and shoot one as your going to the bathroom. Then when you come back you’ll say something like “hmmm my coffee sure taste funny” with a wry smile I’ll say “really, I don’t taste anything in mine and I had the same thing, must be your imagination, now lets enjoy the coffee.” To think about it I can be a spy and knock out the bad guy by stuffing something up my nose, like a poison. That’s perfect, cause the bad guys would search my clothes extensively for any sort of weapon, and as I meet the boss, boom I just have to sneeze on him. Oh my I really went far on that one now didn’t I. Well to answer, yes to both.

Writer: there you have it folks, conclusive evidence that the Jelly bean is the greatest of all snacks. Plus I just love getting a whole bunch of them and let them stick to my teeth, like a now-or-later. I almost forgot, you can trick a cannibal with them just say that you dried the kidneys of a human and you just need to rehydrate, like a ramen. Reader if you disagree well, be sure of it. In order to see the light we must see what darkness is and to apreciate both we must go to either extreme. PITIFUL ARE THOSE WHO NEVER WENT TO AN EXTREME, FOR THEY NEVER KNEW THE TRUE MEANING OF, WELL… ANYTHING.

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